Win a Handbag!

This goes out to all bag lovers like me.. just click away. GOOG LUCK!


Win Yourself a Handbag

another sleepless day

You don't ever stop loving someone... its more a matter of learning to deal with the pain of not having them anymore.

Blessed is he who expects nothing, for there shall never be disappointments.

rainy tuesday morning

"Watching you walk away from me doesn't make me bitter or angry about love. It just makes me wonder, if I wanted so much to be with the wrong person, how wonderful it would be when the right one comes along..."

just some things off the top of my head..

I rarely write (in this case type bleh) about my thoughts coz its too damn tiring.. and I hate getting mysef tired haha. But in this case, I'll make a little exception. I'm actually supposed to be making my letter of appeal (para makabalik from freakin AWOL sa univ) and here I am, using up brain cells putting my deranged thoughts into words. Talk about wasting precious time huh? Procrastination at its finest!

Anywho, back to me bwahahaha. I think a lot of people see me as this really happy (go-lucky more like it) type of person. Always smiling, always saying hellos, always carrying that freaking smile on my freaky face.. but do you honestly think I'm just like that? Would someone come up to me and pick my mind apart? Naxx.. manghuhula ka ba? Hulaan mo naman ako! Gaaad.. I am so effing tired! And I think I've turned into a psycho as well, aside from being the neurotic that I am haha! Punyeta naman kasi, pwede bang i-turn off ang sarili kahit saglit lang? As in mga 3days lang, tapos on na uli. Pahinga lang sa kakaisip. My personal dilemma is causing me to become such a wreck that its making the people close to me worried. I keep on getting sick and I'm not getting better. Call it psychosomasm (is that even a valid word?!) if you must, but I don't think whatever I try to do to alleviate myself, its not working for some effing reason. Am I too late? Did my immune system left me without saying goodbye (pati sa katawan, may bitterness ahaha!). I even broke my personal mantra of not taking any meds (placebo lang yan, no epek!) and bought some and self-medicated. Hmm come to think of it, it kinda helped a bit with one of my illnesses (ang dami eh shoot) but the others are still here, continuously making it unbearable for me at times. =(


< insert this>
tangna nag-online pa si gago! malamang kakausapin ko sya, ako pa?! i hate him! i hate that i love him so.. =( he's asking for my help, how can I deny him that? how can I deny him anything? waah.. anuba, get a grip of yourself! say NO! dalawang letra lang na ita-type di pa magawa hmph! waah.. I'm helpless against his sadism towards me.. huhuhuh... must move on..
< /insert>




before I end this, something from my friend/UP blockmate.. words of freaking wisdom that hit me right on the spot (ouch!):

"the art of letting go is mathematically proportional to the art of self-preservation. letting go and preserving oneself are crafts that can be mustered and mastered by people who want to get out of the crude vicious cycle. these skills are the summation of one's conscious conviction to be happy and complete in one's silence and solitude. loving yourself more by letting go of someone who loves you less will make you a better person. happiness is a responsibility. love is give and take. there is a supply of emotion because there is a demand for it. free yourself the burden of keeping the relationship and filling in the lost love. settling for anything less is not love but something else. redeem yourself by letting go. move on and live your life like you've never been hurt."

is this wrong?

Have you ever noticed that the worst way to miss someone is when they are right beside you and yet you can never have them?
The moment you can't feel them under your fingertips you miss them?
Have you ever wondered which hurts the most, saying something and wishing you hadn't?
I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say.
They are the things you get ashamed of, because words are not enough to express them.
Words shrink things that seems timeless when they were in your head to no more than living sizes when they are brought out.
Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them.
If you do, they might break your heart.
But if you don't you might break theirs.
Have you ever decided not to become a couple because you were so afraid of losing what you already had with that person?
Your heart decides who it likes and who it doesn't.
You can never tell you heart what to do.
It does things in its own when you least expect it, or even when you don't want it to.
Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had but that person was too afraid to let you?
Too many of us wall ourselves in because we are too afraid to care too much… for fear that our special person does not care as much or not at all.
Have you ever loved someone and they absolutely have no idea whatsoever?
Or fell for your best friend in the entire world and then sat around and watch him fall for someone else?
Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because of fear of rejection was too hard to handle?
Or have you ever cast your feelings aside because you thought things were impossible?
We tell lies when we are afraid… afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found about us.
But every time we tell a lie, the thing we fear grow stronger.
Life is all about risk, and it requires you to jump.
Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what he/she could have had.
Sometimes, life offers no second chances and makes us realize that no one waits forever.
So… cherish the past, it made you what you are.
Treasure the present, it's a timeless gift.
Pray for the future, it's where hopes are fulfilled and dreams become reality.
There are only two ways to live your life; one as though nothing is a miracle the other as though everything is.